[Oh no! We forgot!]
[We should have done something on The Toyako Summit!]
[Note: 38th G8 Summit took place in Lake Toya, Hokkaido, which is also the name of Gintoki's wooden sword.]
[Oedo Mart]
One creamy jumbo cream puff, one shrimp gratin...
One jumbo pork jowl meat lunch. All together, that's 1,038 yen.
Please watch your weight.
Thank you very much.
Kuriko-chan, aren't you tired?
Want to take a break with me?
Sure.
Hey, why is she taking a break with you?!
That's right! No cheating!
Shut up!
Why don't you take a break with me?!
What are you saying? With me!!
Say, you want to take a break with me, don't you, Kuriko-chan?
No, with me, right?
With me, right?
Want to fight?!
Bring it on, damn it!!
Step outside!!
["They Say Soy Sauce On Pudding Tastes Like Sea Urchin, But Soy Sauce On Pudding Only Tastes Like Pudding and Soy Sauce"]
As the saying goes, "Spare the rod, spoil the child."
But I won't allow it. I won't allow those
lowly cockroaches to breathe the same air she does!
Hey, Toshi! Be my spotter for a second!!
Hold on!! This is the same as last time!!
This time, you're after your daughter's work friends?!
They're not her friends!!
Papa-rin will never allow her to associate with such disgusting men!!
[Note: Paparin is a cute way of saying "Papa."]
Shut up!! I took a break from work to come here.
You're just trying to stop your daughter's work friends from hitting on her?!
I can't do this. I'm leaving!!
Hey, wait. When did I ask you to do that?
I just want to kill those men.
There's no way I'm doing that either!!
Besides, I can kind of understand it...
If you're trying to get her to break up with a boyfriend, like before...
I'll give you that...
But this time, they're not even dating.
They look like they were just hitting on her.
Once they're hitting on her, it's too late!!
I need to take the initiative. I need to kill them before they try anything!!
Kondo-san, do something about this stupid parent.
Who are you calling Kondo?
Gorilla 13 appears once again!! Pops, I'll help you out!!
Sogo 13 appears once again because this looks interesting.
[Note: Gorilla 13 and Sogo 13 are a parody of the Golgo 13 manga series.]
All right, Kondo, you take the one on the left.
Sogo, you take the one on the right. I'll take out the one in the middle!
Hey!! I told you this is just like last time!!
Anyway, don't do anything rash!!
In short, you want them to give up on her, right?
There are a lot of easier ways to do that.
I'll go over there and easily settle this.
Oh? You've got quite a bit of confidence.
If you go as far as to say that, Toshi, I guess I'll leave this to you.
Pops, you can't trust this guy!!
He's the guy who betrayed us at the amusement park.
I'll go.
I'll shove a ton of enemas up their asses and make them crap their pants.
Toshi, Kuriko-chan's the type of girl who isn't disgusted even if her boyfriend craps his pants.
When I crap my pants, you guys are so disgusted with me.
How are you going to attack them?
Now, hold on, Kondo, Sogo. Toshi is pretty confident.
This is convenient.
I want you to pay us back for what you did to us at the amusement park.
Come on, Toshi, you'll do it, right?
You will, won't you? I'm counting on you.
Welcome.
Unkel. That'll be 1,520 yen.
[Note: Unkel is a parody of Yunker, an energy drink.]
I'm sorry you have to work so late at night.
Thank you very much.
Kuriko-chan. Kuriko-chan, what do you do on your days off?
I happen to have two tickets for "My Neighbor Pedro 2: Rodriguez's Day Off."
[Note: "My Neighbor Pedro" is a parody of "My Neighbor Totoro."]
Kuriko-chan.
I happen to be in a band called Spaceship Earth.
We're going to have a concert soon.
Kuriko-chan.
Kuriko-chan, do you like going for rides? I'll take you out to the bay in my 750.
What's your problem?! Don't cut in!!
What about you? No cheating!!
You're being a nuisance to Kuriko-chan!!
Who are you calling a nuisance?!
We're calling you a nuisance...
Because you are one!!
That's right!!
His daughter isn't even talking to them.
Pops sure is troublesome when he acts like a stupid parent.
He's just continuing to act as if he's reading that JUMP.
He's not moving at all.
What is he doing?
He moved!!
He's just turning the page!!
Is he reading that JUMP for real?
That man by the magazine rack...
I think I've seen him before...
[Katakuriko Matsudaira]
Hello? This is Hijikata.
Toshi, how long are you going to keep reading that JUMP?
Get moving already!!
Make them crap their pants or something.
Just do it! If you don't, I'll cry. I'll cry while I shoot them.
All right.
Oh well, I guess I have to make them crap their pants.
Why don't we watch Pedro?
Come to my live performance!
A ride would be fun!
She's going to see Pedro!!
I said that she's going to my live performance!!
We're going for a ride!!
I'll take this!
Oh. Welcome.
I won't kill them. I'll just scare them.
Mayonnaise...
It's you!!
You're Mayo 13-sama!
Oh no!!
K-K-K-Kuriko-san?
W-Who is that man?
What's your relationship with him?
Wait! I can use this...
She's my woman.
Our relationship is like that of a love affair between a hopeless pimp
and a loving, middle-aged woman.
Sorry to keep you waiting, Kuriko.
I'm always so unreliable.
But you don't need to worry anymore. I'll always...
be by your side.
Mayo 13-sama...
Got that?! Don't ever come near my woman again!!
If you do...
I'll kill you!!
N-No way...
Phew... That's one problem solved.
Jeez!! This happens whenever the weather's nice.
Where do they come from?
They're like cats in heat. Really...
Anyway, why don't we go somewhere else?
Somewhere else? Where?
We don't have any money.
But at this rate...
Oh well, in that case...
Wait, wait! Calm down and listen to me.
That was not a confession of my love.
Your father asked me to do that.
In other words, I was just acting.
There were those three shabby guys at the convenience store, right?
I did it to scare them away.
I'm sorry I said that even though I'm not interested in you.
But it looks like they're gone now. I'm going to stop acting.
Mayo-sama...
Mayo 13-sama...
That's the story. Got that?
I've been in love with you from the moment I saw you.
And I wished that I could see you again.
And my wish was granted and we had such a fateful reunion.
Your embrace was so strong and your words were so sweet.
I felt as if I was ascending to heaven!
Say, are you listening to me?
I'd be in an awkward position if your father saw us here.
He'd shoot me.
I know this is a bit cold, but I don't have any intention of going out with you.
You're wonderful. You're wonderful and charming, but...
Charming, you say?
Hey! Don't just listen to the parts you want to hear.
"Charming" is that thing that men say...
...when they're politely turning someone down.
I've got to return to the store.
Huh?!
I think we can have a date this upcoming weekend.
Until then, take care.
H-Hey!!
Why are we suddenly on a date?! I refused, didn't I?!
I told you I wasn't going to go out with you, right? Right?!
She's not listening.
Sir, it looks like something is bothering you.
We heard everything.
We're professional relationship busters.
We break up people's relationships for money and white rice. We'll help you.
Y-You saw all of it?!
Tsk. I don't really want your help.
Oh? Does this mean you want to continue your relationship?
You'll have a wonderful newlywed life.
You'll have a poodle and wear the same clothes.
You'll hold hands as you go shopping at the supermarket.
You'll come home every day at 6:00.
You'll have dinner as you listen to her complain about the neighbors.
When you're about to take off your undershirt to take a bath,
you'll realize that your gut has been getting big.
Your wife will just talk to the television and say...
Honey, can't you make a bit more money?
That's easy to say... But the company's having a rough time...
We predict a bland and terrible future.
Hey, can you really end this charade without hurting that girl's feelings?
Believe in me.
Listen up. A man's worth...
is decided when he can get a woman to dump him instead of dumping her.
You need to make sure she no longer has any interest in you and make her hate you.
A girl's heart is like cotton candy. Any little thing can make it shrivel.
You should just show her the unpleasant and disgusting side of men.
In short, it's the "Hijikata-san, you're disgusting!!" Plan.
"Hijiketsu" for short.
[Note: A compound of "hiji" from "Hijikata" and "ketsu" from "fuketsu" (disgusting).]
The problem is what exactly we should do, isn't it?
Domestic violence, gambling, drunken frenzies...
There are many things that women don't like about men, but the one that gets...
the quickest result is this.
Actually, I only like to watch movies like this...
[Magical Man-man The Movie Uncensored] [Note: "Man" is the shortened term of "manko" the slang for "vagina."]
I can finally see all those parts they wouldn't show on TV.
I've been waiting for this moment.
Wow, this is painful.
Most people would be disgusted.
I'm having him act like he's a hopeless anime otaku.
He's had experience as a hopeless otaku when he was
possessed by his demonic sword and turned into Toshi.
Otaku are the best way to disgust women.
We don't have to watch it if you don't want to...
I'll watch it when I'm by myself, though...
I don't want to.
I thought so...
But I'll go with you.
Huh?!
I want to like the things...
that you like.
Really?!
It's a complete failure, Gin-chan.
Oh, it's going to start soon. Let's hurry.
As expected, we got to see all the uncensored parts, huh?!
Why are you happy?
Are you dissatisfied?
Would it have been better if there were fewer bubbles?
Did it need more tentacles?
That bitch is formidable. What a terrifying girl.
Why is Kagura-chan getting hostile?
Oh well. I guess I'll use "that"!
"That"?
What is "that"?
Two servings of the usual.
Got it.
Is this the restaurant you usually go to?
It has a very traditional and historic feel to it.
Here you go. Thank you for waiting.
The Hijikata Special, otherwise known as Dog Food.
Is there anyone who wouldn't be disgusted by the sight of that?
Disgusted?
I get a sour taste in my mouth just looking at that.
What is this?
It's lunch!!
The One Piece of flavors is in my mouth!!
It's the Trichiliocosm of flavor!!
Do you really think it's delicious?
Yes. It's very delicious.
I've found a kindred spirit here of all places.
Why do you ask that?
No... It's nothing.
This is bad! Hijikata-san was a little pleased about that!
He looks happy he's met a fellow mayo lover.
He's gone for wool, but came back shorn.
Thank you for introducing me to something so delicious.
Come on, Gin-san, Kagura-chan, hurry.
They look like they're hitting it off pretty well.
We should let them get together. Combine okay?
[Note: Parody of the anime, Chōdenji Robo Combattler V.]
If anything, they're a nice couple.
You're suddenly giving up?!
Hijikata-san keeps looking at us!
He looks like he thinks everyone in the world is a liar!
Oh well. Shall we try the next plan?
Hey, there! Things are getting pretty passionate here.
You've been showing off quite a bit!!
Don't act so cool just because you've got a woman.
How dare you prance around and flirt like that.
We'll kill you, damn it!!
Mayo-sama.
I-I'm sorry!!
I apologize if I've offended you.
U-Umm, money, right? H-Here. Please take this and spare us.
At least spare our lives!!
I'll do anything. I'll even lick the soles of your shoes!!
What an obedient kid.
Come on, hand it over!!
Lick the sole of my shoes?! Go ahead and lick them!!
What's this?! There's only 3,000 yen and a Suica.
[Note: A Suica is a smart card used to pay for train rides in Japan.]
You bastard!!
You're an adult and you only have 3,000 yen? You must be kidding!!
You've got more, don't you?!
Don't hide it!!
Jeez.
How dare you always use such showy lines!
How many DVD covers have you been on?!
[Note: Hijikata adorns many GinTama DVD covers.]
Don't try to act stylish, damn it!!
How dare your merchandise sell more than mine?!
[Note: Hijikata’s consumer goods have more selection than Shinpachi’s.]
Who cares if you're the Shinsengumi's Vice-Chief?!
All of you, cut it out!!
You're taking too long! How long do you plan on doing this?!
Anyway, you're just talking about me, aren't you?!
You're talking about my normal self, aren't you?!
Why are you using this moment
to vent your pent-up anger?!
You bastard!
Mayo-sama, you risked your life to protect me, didn't you?
Huh? Well, umm, uhh… It was a conditioned reflex or something.
You're getting bashful. That's so cute.
How could I say something so embarrassing?
Don't hate me…
for saying that.
I don't care what happens anymore.
I'm running away.
Running away, Hijikata-san?
And leave that girl permanently scarred?
It doesn't matter how many men you kill.
You must never betray a girl's pure feelings.
Whoa! He's saying obnoxious things again!
Kagura-chan, do you have any suggestions?
If he runs away, she'll just forget him after three days.
She's got a harsh and really plausible opinion.
Aww, crap! Why did this have to happen to me?
Running away is fine,
but are you prepared to never appear in front of her again?
Of course.
Are you prepared to do anything to run away?
It depends on the situation. I'll do whatever I can!
You're serious, right?
Yeah.
Mayo-sama? Mayo-sama!
Where have you gone?
Mayo-sama!
Listen to me and don't turn around.
Mayo-sa—
Don't turn around!
There’s something I haven't told you.
What is it?
I'm actually…
The Prince of the Planet Mayo Maniac, mayo.
A prince?!
You can turn around now, mayo.
It's useless. There's no way this is going to work.
I thought so.
I sensed that you were not a normal person.
It worked!! I've added “mayo” to the end of my sentences and it worked!!
I'll die if I stay on Earth too long, mayo.
It seems I'm at my limit, mayo.
Are you going?
I'm going to be picked up shortly, mayo.
Take me with you.
I don't mind eating mayonnaise for every meal.
I-I…
Please.
I want to go with you.
This is headed in the wrong direction, isn't it?
No, hold on, Toshiro!! You can do this.
D-Don't be silly.
Planet Mayo Maniac is a remote planet covered in a mayonnaise atmosphere, mayo.
You wouldn't be able to survive there, mayo.
It's best if you live on Earth, mayo.
I'll always be watching over you, mayo.
Always?
Y-Yeah, mayo!
What's wrong, mayo?
Even though this is goodbye.
I won't cry.
Prince, it's time, mayo.
We've come for you, mayo.
Live happily, mayo!
Mayo-sama…
We're leaving, mayo.
Mayo!
Mayo-sama…
Mayo-sama!
Farewell!
Farewell, mayo…
Mayo-sama… I'm sure that we'll meet again.
Kuriko-san is a pretty nice girl.
Yeah…
What's wrong, prince?
Did you fall in love with…
You idiot, it's not like that!!
That's my story, mayo.
You're really annoying, mayo.
[GinTama The Animation]
Long, long ago… Urashima
[Note: Urashima Taro is the story of a fisherman who rescues a turtle and is rewarded with a visit to Ryugu Palace under the sea.]
caught a voyeuristic turtle… When he went to Ryugu Palace…
[A Summer Vacation Special Project]
[Ryugu Arc]
Really?! Huh?! It exists? Ryugu Palace really exists?!
[Taken by a turtle they save…]
It ordinarily exists…
[A big showdown in the south seas…]
This is terrible.
Our boats heading to Ryugu Palace were destroyed
[A story of seven men and women?] [Note: Title of a Japanese TV series from the 80s.]
and we ended up on this deserted island.
I am the most beautiful creature in the world.
[Otohime's plot draws near!!]
I am Otohime, the ruler of Ryugu.
My worst summer vacation was about to begin.
["Summer Vacation is the Most Fun Right Before It Begins"]
[Tsk! That's great… Summer vacation starts from next week on…]
[I have to work every week. I don't get any breaks. (Sob)]